Gardeners realize that there is much we can not control.
We can’t control the seasons nor the weather.
We can’t control the moon nor its gravitational pulls.
We can’t control Nature nor it always working to restore itself.
I am blessed that my father and grandparents showed me to work with what I could not control as a gardener… to work with the seasons, the moon, Nature.
Relationships. How do we learn to work with what we can not control in our relationships?
If only I could get my children to listen.
If only I could get my spouse to understand.
If only I could get my boss and colleagues on board.
If only they would apologize; forgive; appreciate me.
For me, control is about diminishing scary variables... those scary variables are fear-based… and those fears manifest into my relationships.
Fear of my children hurting physically, mentally, or emotionally.
Fear my spouse doesn’t appreciate me.
Fear my work is inferior to others.
Fear my potential, goals, and dreams will never be realized.
CHAOS: “If I can control all the outside factors, then maybe I can control what I am feeling inside”… This is WRONG!!!
If only I would listen to my children.
If only I understood my spouse.
If only I was on board with my team.
If only I would apologize; forgive; appreciate them.
If only I listened, understood, apologized, forgave, appreciated myself!
… and if I do, the internal chaos would calm and I would not desire control…
And from there relationships grow.
A seed doesn’t flourish because of what it can control outside its seed-coat. A seed flourishes from what is inside itself, and from only allowing nourishment and warmth in, and keeping harm out. Then, it can burst forth and truly show itself!!! All the while never loosing its inner power nor its selective coat.
We can control what is within us.
We can control what we allow in and what we don’t.
We can control what we allow of ourselves out to the World.
What relationships are you trying to control in your life?
What can you do within yourself? – listen to yourself, forgive yourself, appreciate yourself, etc
What do you need & desire into your life and what is not allowed?
What do you desire to give out of yourself and to who?
The seasons, the moon, Nature, have taught me that I also go through seasons, cycles, and forces. I beautifully wear my seed-coat, nurture myself within, nurture my relationships, and I burst forth into my truest self and flourish!
We got this.
For some more guidance on releasing the chaos of control and creating calm within you, here is a video from healingforest.org