This could be an analogy to human relationships we can sacrificed in our lives, and you can read this blog that way if that is what resonates for you right now... but this is just about a tree, and how we killed it and all its relationships (human and otherwise)...
In my landscape designing, I rarely remove existing trees, unless they are severely diseased or pose a danger.
This tree of ours, it was here before we bought our house 12 years ago. It was likely 25-30 years old today. I haven’t counted the rings yet.
It gave us fruit year-round; perfect shade; hours of playing with climbing, swinging, and imagination. It gave us so much beauty; fresh air; and so many birds. It brought in rabbits, squirrels, cats, and bats. This tree was a habitat; providing food, shelter, and cover for many macro- and micro-organisms.
Our tree had fireblight disease, but it was managed and could have been cured.
We took down (killed) this mature crabapple, because we want to put a trampoline in its place, and then a greenhouse once the trampoline is gone (if it ever goes). I feel guilty… we killed this grand living organism for our own desires. I am deeply connected to our Earth, & so yes, I feel guilt and mourn.
We have many other trees. We have planted 3 more fruit trees and 2 large fruit shrubs. We will be planting so many more.
But it doesn’t replace this tree, nor the relationship to the soil, to its entwined roots with its neighbouring kin, to its symbiotic fungi, to all the fauna and flora connected to it, or to its relationship with my children, our memories, and to my Soul.
Thank you to this amazing tree that was the centerpiece of our piece of Earth these last 12 years with this yard. I apologize to you tree and to all the relationships you hosted and fostered. I can not amend what we have done. I will continue to give you gratitude and will make the most of your loss.